WISH YOU WERE DEAD at The ORCHARD THEATRE, DARTFORD

 


Tickets: Gifted

Date: 30th May 2023 

Seat: B22 (Circle)

Star Rating: 3


Step into the eerie world of Wish You Were Dead, a theatrical adaptation of Peter James' novel, brought to life by adaptor Shaun McKenna and director Jonathan O’Boyle. With a highly watchable cast led by George Rainsford as the ever-anxious Detective Superintendent Roy Grace, Katie McGlynn as Cleo, his loving wife, and Clive Mantle as the enigmatic and villainous Curtis, this play promises a suspenseful journey through a gothic mansion filled with dark secrets and nail-biting moments. However, while the set design and sound create an immersive atmosphere, and the actors deliver enjoyable performances, the story unfortunately struggles to fully captivate and reward the audience.

 

Joining Roy and Cleo, their son, Noah, and their nanny, Kaitlynn, on their ill-fated holiday, we find ourselves trapped within the walls of a foreboding French chateau where isolation reigns supreme – there isn’t even any wifi. In this secluded retreat, tension thickens, and danger lurks at every corner, throwing our protagonists into a perilous situation. Or at least, it almost does.

Michael Holt’s set design for Wish You Were Dead is a love letter to Gothic architecture, evoking a palpable sense of dread. The stairs whispered secrets, unseen bedrooms teased our imagination, and a suit of armour added a spooky touch. It created an immersive, chilling atmosphere that intensified the narrative. One especially clever moment that elicited a gasp from the audience was when a hidden room suddenly became visible, and parts of the plot quickly fell into place.

Unfortunately, although these elements certainly did help to create a tense feeling, the edge of the seat the audience found themselves on turned out to be more of a slight incline than a thrilling plunge into the unknown. The story stumbled at times, desperately in need of a clever twist to unlock its full potential. The comedy moments, intended or not, broke the tension, meaning that the actors had to put in significant effort to build it back up again, and this sporadic release of suspense diminished the full impact of the gothic thriller atmosphere. The play would have benefited from a tighter grip on maintaining a consistently suspenseful tone, allowing the audience to remain engaged without unnecessary detours.



However, credit must be given to the actors for their performances, injecting moments of fun and enjoyment into the play. George Rainsford masterfully embodied the perpetually concerned Detective Superintendent Roy Grace, capturing his restlessness and internal turmoil with precision. Katie McGlynn impressed as Cleo, portraying her character's resilience and determination in the face of mounting danger. Clive Mantle brought an air of mystery and intrigue to the role of Curtis, so that even if the audience had worked everything out well before the end, it was still a fun journey to get there. Rebecca McKinnis gave perhaps the strongest performance of the night, playing Madame L’Eveque (and another character who, for fear of spoilers, I won’t mention). Her deliberately fake French accent was a joy, and her grumpy, put-upon demeanour raised a good few laughs.

Wish You Were Dead is a fun night at the theatre, and it offers a tantalising premise, boasting exceptional set design, atmospheric sound (by Max Pappenheim), and commendable performances. However, its narrative fails to deliver a truly satisfying resolution, leaving the audience wanting more.

 

What did I learn from my night out at the theatre? If Wish You Were Dead taught me anything, it's that family holidays can be a real killer. 

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